The most common fear in dating and relationships is fear of rejection, so if you can get over fear of rejection, you will instantly have a competitive edge!
How to actually get over it:
There is a type of rejection that hurts most: Being rejected by someone that has probably started a relationship with us already – being rejected by someone that we actually admire.
If you face this kind of rejection, I’d like you to remember: A) Don’t take it personal, as it can happen to anyone! It doesn’t matter who you are, where you are from, how much you have, it can happen to anyone of us. Don’t make it about yourself! Probably you have also rejected great people too, but it doesn’t necessarily mean they are not valuable. B) Keep working on yourself. Become a more incredibly amazing individual. You love this person because of some of their qualities, but maybe the next woman has other qualities that you will like (and you just don’t know those qualities yet). Life is a journey of discovery.
You need to meet more people while getting over fear of rejection.
Meeting more people makes you feel more confident, partly because you are practicing your social skills, and partly because you will have more choices in dating and relationships. Let me show you how to meet more people now.
- Meeting women shouldn’t be something you turn on or off. It shouldn’t be something that you do just on Friday or Saturday nights, e.g. going out on Friday night with your friends to the bar to meet women, or going to a singles event to meet a woman, etc. In fact, it should be something that you incorporate into your everyday life because women are everywhere, you just have to take off your blinders and open your eyes.
- Go out alone. This may sound strange, because when most people go out, they go out with their friends. But I’m going to share something very helpful with you: If you go out alone, you are actually more likely to meet more women! This is because many women are intimidated by your friends – they are worried that if they approach you, you may reject her in front of a group of people, i.e. your friends! (Yes, women have fear of rejection, too & women approach men under the radar all the time.) Also, if you go out with your male friends, these men want to talk to you ALL THE TIME, so how can you have enough time, opportunities and energy to speak to women?!
- Be friendly and talk to everyone. If you focus on talking to everyone (not just women you’re interested in), you open up your energy. You instantly become more approachable and women will want to talk to you. Remember: You should practice on everyone before meeting the right woman!
- “Open the Door”. All you need to do is to do is “open the door” to start the conversation. Get in close proximity to a woman, ask a question, make a comment, compliment her, etc. Once she knows it’s okay to talk you, she will continue the conversation, if she’s interested. As a man, you shouldn’t be needy. But for the first ten seconds, you have to show that you need human interaction! This is because women also have fear of rejection! Therefore, women tend to go to the path with least resistance. So, if you “open the door” and smile at her first, it’s so much easier for her to say hi.
- Flirt to meet women. It’s very important to be playful and don’t take yourself too seriously! Women are attracted to men who have a good sense of humor, because women feel relaxed when they are with fun men. See the humor in everything; laugh at her jokes; be spontaneous! Introduce touch during your conversation with her, i.e. touch her shoulder when appropriate (or when you are laughing). Give her a hug when you leave.
- Become the “social hub” or get close to a “social hub”. That means you can join sites such as meetup.com where many social hubs are hosting gatherings and you may want to attend their events. You can start a meetup on MeetUp.com so that you will instantly become the social hub. Alternatively, you can join other people’s gatherings – that’s how you get close to a social hub.
How to approach online dating without fear of rejection:
It turns out that people are rejected on dating websites just as they are in real life. So, if you are rejected by a hot woman on a dating site, remember it’s absolutely normal. Not every girl should want you, or even remotely like you.
This is also true in business. Let’s say you run a business and you sell products or services. Chances are 10% of your audience will dislike what you offer. That’s just statistics.
As I’m a writer, I know no matter what I write, 10% of the audience will find a way to feel offended. I see it as statistics, so I don’t feel hurt.
Some people even use their haters to achieve higher, e.g. Donald Trump used controversy to become the president of the United States – his haters sent his name to all headlines in the media – what kind of marketing machine is that?! That will only make his supporters support him 10 times more, hence his success.
If Donald Trump was worried about fear of rejection, he wouldn’t become the president of the United States. If Hillary Clinton was worried about fear of rejection, she wouldn’t run for president twice. And news says she might run for president again!
High achievers are not worried about rejections. They are persistent.
Therefore, if you are using an online dating site, you should know rejections are very normal. In fact, they are very healthy – they help you grow stronger.
The most phenomenal idea on this blog is that there are effective strategies for creating connection and attraction no matter how old you are, what you do or what you look like. That’s because real attraction is a combination of the way you carry yourself, the beliefs you have, the way you communicate your belief system to others, how you react to things and how you approach your work & your life.
And online dating is the fast-track to a beautiful love life – everyone knows why you are on a dating website, so you don’t need to explain yourself anymore. Now you even worry less about fear of rejection.
Note that your dating profile should be brief. Good advertisers know a good headline and succinct ideas are better than saying too much information.
Never underestimate the power of a good dating profile. Once women have a sense of who you are, they will fill in the blanks by themselves – that’s called Forest Effect, i.e. when you set a tree on fire, the tree will set the entire forest on fire. When a woman sees your outstanding dating profile, she will have all the positive associations with you.
You may laugh at your fear of rejection. Having a good sense of humor about yourself is important.